


The Ellimist

by For the Record (SakoAkarui)



Series: Animorphs - Tom AU [2]
Category: Animorphs - Katherine A. Applegate
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-19
Updated: 2014-11-19
Packaged: 2018-02-26 07:03:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2642597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SakoAkarui/pseuds/For%20the%20Record
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rachel (me) shares my thoughts on the Ellimist</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Ellimist

So apparently this is a thing we’re doing? There was a vote, I wasn’t paying attention, whatever. Let’s get this over with.

1\. Alien slugs want to take over your brain. Don’t believe me? Tough. You are slug chow. If you’re smart you’ll get angry and start something.

2\. The only thing standing between you and brain slugs is five teens, and one guy who is… You know, I don’t know what the age equivalent really is there. But that’s us so. Six. You’re welcome.

3\. We’re not going to give you details. Definitely not a/s/l. God, internet pervs. They’re only worse than real pervs because I cannot physically punch them. But yeah, if I told you who I was I’d probably die.

Maybe this all sounds really harsh. And you’re right. It is harsh. Our life is harsh and it sucks and no one believes it but I’d really not like to be here. But I’m not about to step aside and let people suffer so that’s where I’m at.

I still think of myself as a normal kid. Like I normally come home from school and scroll through stuff on sites. I like to see something funny. Normally I find something that makes me angry about the world we live in because even without alien invasions it kind of sucks. But I’m not really normal, I guess, because I’ve also been a bald eagle flying high on thermals. So we’ve have our ups.

It sounds crazy but seriously. Thermals are amazing. They’re a warm bubble fo air and if you’re a bird of prey you just sit and let that thermal take you up and up and up!

What was I even talking about?

Oh, yeah, I was going to tell you about this Ellimist guy. This happened a while ago, but Tom told you the start and that feels like forever now. Hopefully you read that. This happened, I don’t know,a few months and countless missions after that first. But other than the nightmares this is the one that really messes with my brain. Maybe telling you will help me figure out what it was really about anyway.

Anyway, it started with us all in the woods. Ax lives out there with Tobias. But we had to tromp through quite a ways to get to them, and Tom was giving me the third degree. I can’t remember what it was that time. That might’ve been when I threw this circus master twenty feet in the air for cattle prodding his elephants. Or when I’d partially morphed to scare this street harassing douche. Maybe it was that time me and Tobias freed this hawk. I got to smash cars, which was seriously fun.

I kind of use my elephant morph for recreational activist purposes. It sounds less like ‘reckless risks’ that way.

I guess I should explain that Ax is an Andalite. And Andalites are the aliens are on our side, if you forgot. Actually, Ax is the brother of Elfangor, the guy who gave us the morphing power. I always thought that was a pretty crazy coincidence. Like, of all the guys who survive and reach out to us, it’s the kid brother of the ONE Andalite we met. And I don’t like that. Coincidences smell fishy to me.

Anyway we all gathered up around Marco, who had his own shifty coincidence deal on the books. He’d been creepily watching the dressing rooms at the GAP. He thought he’d found another entrance to the Yeerk pool. And maybe it sounds like we were jumping right back into the fire, but this was only the second time we went down there. Like I said, this was a while after that first trip, and we’d been kind of busy.

You know, I’m gonna try to do this like Tom. Make it sound like a story. Maybe I can keep my mind on track that way, not get so distracted.

So, yeah, we were in the woods, and Marco said something like “Me and Tobias have been doing surveillance. Tobias follows Chapman,” he’s a Controller we know, “from the air, and then I stay on his tail inside buildings. So I’d follow them into the GAP, and they never came out of the dressing rooms.”

<But they would come out of the movie theater,> Tobias said. <There’s always more people leaving the theater than went in.> It was weird, because we normally plan out things like this together. But I think Marco was trying to get on board and help the cause. And Tobias has lots of time on his hands. Talons? Whatever.

“Well, that’s a way in,” Tom said, “but not really a plan.” Tom’s really the leader here. I mean we never really had elections or anything. But he basically is always trying to keep an eye on us. Actually, at the beginning, he got really pissed a lot. He just, like snap at us. But I think he was just worried, because, like, none of us really knew what we were doing. But I think once that clicked in it all kind of mellowed out. He actually listens really well. I mean, he really listens. Probably too well. Cassie does too; she’s a natural peacemaker. But that’s not Tom. He listens and then he might say nothing at all. But he can bring it up again later, and see this big picture. Sometimes he listens and tells you how stupid you’re being, too. He can tease out the important bits. I don’t know, it’s hard to explain. It’s funny, I’d never known him well before the war. But he can be pretty surprising the more you get to know him.

What was I even talking about? Oh, yeah, Yeerk pool, GAP, yada yada.

“What about the Kandrona?” I asked Ax. That’s the stuff that is beamed into the Yeerk pool for Yeerks to eat, if you forgot. Or if it wasn’t mentioned. “What do you know about that?” He shrugged. Actually, I don’t think he did. But I assume he made the Andalite equivalent, because his answer was kind of basic.

<The Kandrona is a miniature version of the Yeerks’ home sun. It emits Kandrona rays which concentrate in the Yeerk pools. It is what nourishes the Yeerks.>

“So the weakness is the Kandrona. Where is that?”

<It could be many miles from the Yeerk pool,> Ax explained. <They can be beamed from almost anywhere. And it could be as large as your human barns, or the size of a human car.> I’m not mocking Ax, he really says stuff like that. It’d be hilarious if it wasn’t really repetitive and annoying. “Human car”. Like there are other cars out there. I’d think aliens call it something different than car.

“So we go down and see if we can find out where the Kandrona is. Make it a spy mission, not an attack,” I said. It was one of those ideas that seemed good, but in hindsight I sort of regret how flippant it was.

“I still have nightmares about the first time we went,” Cassie said. And she knew how to say it where it was just a fact. And we all knew. I had nightmares of my own about the place. We all did, I didn’t need to ask to know that.

<I am not very good at understanding human emotions,> Ax said. <But you all seem afraid. And your fear is beginning to scare me.>

“Good,” I said. “I don’t know if you Andalites believe in places like heaven and hell. But let me just tell you, the Yeerk pool is definitely not heaven.” Zing!

Things kind of broke down after that. Tom tried to bring some constructive ideas about. We made plans for a week and a half from that day to go in, but we’d get together in a week to go over plans. That was kind of Tom’s thing. Organize all the things everyone said and try to keep us on track. But we were all pretty wiped just thinking about it, so it didn’t pan out well that day.

I normally don’t remember details like this, because whenever we have a meeting and I go home, I’m always kind of wiped and all those times playing normal with my family can blur. But I remember this night because I was thinking things couldn’t get worse, thinking of going back to the Yeerk pool and the whole Kandrona thing, but then my mom just laid this giant thing on my plate. My dad was coming over for dinner, which just was all sorts of wrong.

See, my parents are divorced. And it’s not like they hate each other, but they definitely get tense around each other. It’s pretty awkward, actually. But I do know they both care for me and my sisters. It was one of those one-weekend-a-month dad deals we had. He lived in the city and we’d go up for an overnight. Plus an every-other-weekend outing.

It was about the worst dinner in the history of my life. I actually completely forgot about the Yeerk pool for about two hours. A solid two hours of that nightmare out of my head, because of family issues. That just seems so messed up to me. Like the Yeerk pool is hell, but this felt so much worse.

My dad came to the door and my youngest sister, Sara, jumped into his arms as soon as the door swung open. Jordan, my less young but still younger sister was wary, like me. We knew something was up.

“Rachel! How’s my girl,” my dad said. All chummy, like he brought dinner every night. “Come take this bag from me. Thai food. Curry, pad Thai, imperial heavenly whatever they call them shrimp.” And then we were all sitting around the table, near silently eating. We tried for small talk, but it was excruciating.

“Dan, just get it over with,” my mom finally said. I almost shot up and hugged her then. My dad looked embarrassed. And I remember how he went on, all drawn out, but looking so excited too.

“Okay,” he said. “Kids, I have something to tell you. I’ve been offered a job. A better job. I wouldn’t just be the weekend anchor. I would have the top spot. I’d be anchoring the six o clock broadcast and the eleven o clock. And I’d get to do specials. Maybe do some really important work. There’s just one problem. It’s not here in town. In fact, I would have to move.”

“Where to?” Sara asked. “Another apartment?” But I knew. He wouldn’t be saying this if it was just some other apartment.

“To another city sweetie. In another state.

“A thousand miles away,” my mother said.

“Congratulations,” I told him. “It’s what you always wanted.” I remember the look on my dad’s face. He gave me a sort of sheepish smile. He knew I was upset. But he also had something else to tell me. He had another shoe to drop.

“It’s the job, Rachel. It’s the way it is. But I’ll still see you kids. That’s what jets are for, right?”

“Right,” I said. “Jets. Anyway, I’m not hungry. I’m going to go start on my homework.” And I left. I got all the way up to my room and shut my door. I didn’t even slam it. I guess I was beyond angry at that point. Just shut it, quietly locked it, and then just fell onto my bed.

“Rachel?” My dad was knocking at my door. He’d followed me up, and I was too tired to say no. So I opened the door.

“I’m guessing you’re a little upset.” I shrugged, turned away. That had been a mistake because I just turned to see my bulletin board, with all these pictures of us. I mean, my mom and Jordan and Sara are there too. And Cassie, and Tom and his family. Jake. But I just saw every picture of my dad.

“Rachel, you didn’t let me finish what I had to tell you downstairs. Jordan and Sara are too young, but you can look after yourself if I have to work late. And I’ve discussed with your mother about this, and she’s not happy about it but she says it’s up to you.

“See, Carla Belnikoff teaches in the city I’m moving to. You know, she takes in three or four promising gymnastics students every year. I you wanted, well, it’d be the best thing in the world to me if you came to live with me.”

It was like a ton of bricks. I thought that expression was stupid, or the stomach full of lead, but it really does feel like this massive ton hit you. It hits you straight in the face and your shocked and then its like you swallowed all those bricks and your stomach is just dropping to the ground and you can’t get up or move because there are bricks in your stomach. Because, Coach Belnikoff took on students who go on to win medals. Two gold ones and a bunch of silver ones. That is serious gymnastics. And I hate my dad so much. He dangled this happy little life in front of me. I could go away. I could really just up and leave, and not have to think about this war. I could’ve been this normal girl, going to school, and gymnastics, and not worry about anything.

When this first started, and we were all scared and thinking about Elfangor and the construction site, we all tried to pretend it didn’t happen. We had nightmares and everything, but that wasn’t the kicker. It was walking around school. I’d see Cassie, and just one look would bring me back. Cassie knew. Marco knew. I couldn’t just pretend that wasn’t my life. But when I went to my dad, in the city? It all just felt so far away. I didn’t see the site, or the mall, or fly over that lake or see any of the places we’d fought. I didn’t see any of the others. It was really like it had all been a dream, an awful dream, but it was easier to pretend it didn’t exist. And I could’ve jus left and never thought of it again.

I mean, I think it would’ve caught up with me. I don’t think I could’ve really forgotten. But what if I could have? What if it’d really been that simple? And now, when I go out on these missions, and my stomach is spewing out intenstines and kidneys and blood on the floor, all I can think is I chose to be here. I’m a really sick person with a sick head and I chose to keep fighting this. Even though I didn’t choose and we all got saddled with this war we didn’t deserve. I could have gotten out and I didn’t. I just hate my dad so much.

And at the time, I really thought about going. I still think about going. About going to sports games with my dad, and hiking on weekends, and shopping. That city has some serious shopping. I looked it up after my dad left. That was a mistake, but I make a lot of mistakes and I guess that’s not the worst.

After my dad left, I was just stuck thinking about all of this. I tried to do my homework but all the work I did was crap. And I should’ve thought about the war then but I was really just freaking out about leaving my sisters and my mom and the thought of a big new town with my dad. I didn’t really think about the war until school the next day and I saw Cassie and jus thought oh, yeah, I’m supposed to be thinking about how to go about spying on the Yeerk pool.

Basically I didn’t do anything remotely useful that week. I zoned out in classes, didn’t even try to do half my homework, and definitely did not contribute to our spy planning meeting. I spent a lot of evenings just flying around. Even visited Tobias, but I realized how stupid it was at the time. I was thinking about leaving and having a normal life, but Tobias was alreayd a casualty of war. How could I bring up normal stuff with him, when he can’t even do normal stuff anymore? He’s a hawk all the time, and I’m only a bald eagle some of the time. But bald eagles don’t fly so well at night, but I had this owl morph. It’s a cool morph. Certainly useful. I also got my grizzly morph that week, which, okay, it was kind of stupid to walk up to a Grizzly Bear all on my own. I just knew I didn’t want to go into a fight as a big rampaging elephant. I wanted to feel more like me, with hands or claws, or whatever. Also, the elephant morph is kind of huge. That should go without saying, but elephants don’t exactly fit in every room for a fight.

The elephant in the room. I just realized I am the elephant in the room. Wow. That’s how everyone views me, isn’t it? The gung ho fighter to remind them about this war.

I probably shouldn’t think about that. This isn’t even what I wanted to write about. I’ve been writing and writing and I haven’t even gotten to the point I was making.

Okay, so we went down to the Yeerk pool. We had to line it up so we were all in the dressing room at the same time, but we couldn’t all go in as one big group. We didn’t want to look too suspicious. But actually, now that I think about it, it wouldn’t have been at all. I mean, think of all the Controllers that come in and don’t come out. God we’re idiots. We would’ve saved ourselves 20 minutes of morph time at least, which is a lot of morph time.

Every minute of morph time counts. Every. Last. One.

I was sort of jazzed at the time. I knew what we were doing was going to be awful, but I was just jumpy and full of energy. Basically a ‘let’s go and do this already’ mindset. Faster we were in, the faster we could get out. But we had to do this stupid train game of hopping into the dressing room. We went in and stopped at the dressing room next to the entrance. We decided on cockroach morphs for the ride. Cockroaches are pretty nasty bugs, but they’re also pretty hard core. I hated them at first, because I hate the idea of being stepped on. But actually, I’m starting to like the cockroach morph. It’s probably a sign of how crazy I am, but sometimes being a cockroach feels more invincible than an elephant.

Elephants are not even remotely invincible by the way.

I still don’t like watching the cockraoch morph though. Cassie started without any warning and I yelped. Antennae had just burst out of Cassie’s skull. Huge antennae, with all the creepy insect details. I love Cassie, but that was not a good look on anyone. And then I made the mistake of looking in the mirror. We were shrinking but I could still see our skin crinkle and darken like burnt paper, and then I saw legs burst from my chest.

Then my eyes went and I just felt so thankful for crappy insect sight.

Eventually we were all gathered, a little army of cockroaches sitting happily under the triangle seat of the next dressing room. Then we just had to sit and wait until a Controller came by. Waiting is probably the worst part of a mission. You’re counting the minutes down, thinking about what’s going to happen, and how awful it will be, but you’re gonna have to do it anyway, and you can’t even just get it over with. Or you’re just counting down until you might maybe get stuck in morph, which you have to ALWAYS think about but it’s not good to think about it too much. So you focus on what’s going to happen. And you don’t know how or when it’s going to happen, but you will probably have to fight for your life and you may not like the choices you make.

I hate waiting.

<So,> Marco said. <Anyone see the new South Park last night? Getting pretty preachy over there.>

<How do you have time to watch TV?> I asked

<I have my priorities.>

The dressing room door swung open and I had to clamp down on the roach brain. It’s response to just about every situation is ‘run’. But running is often a bad option, so I cut the roach brain off and stayed put.

The mirror on the back wall of the dressing room opened and damp air came in. I hadnt’ smelled it as a roach before, but it still seemed familiar.

<Go!> Tom yelled.

And we were off. An invasion of cockroaches shot down the wall, into the door, and through to the tunnel. We came in on the tail of the controller’s feet, and the door closed behind us.

<Okay team, we’re in,> Tom said.

<Oh goody,> Marco said.

<Let’s all keep our heads,> Tom said. <We’re not going in for a fight. Ax, you’re keeping track of the time?>

<Yes, Prince Tom. Twenty-eight of your minutes have passed since Cassie and Rachel entered morph.> I knew Tom would have rolled his eyes and given that exasperated sigh. He’s been doing that a lot, to be honest. I always get a kick our of hearing Ax saying ‘Prince Tom’ though. We let the Controller pull ahead of us, and then we were just running down. First a ramp, and then steps. It was nerve wracking, just running along knowing we were going down into the Yeerk pool.

<Okay, fine, tell us all what happened on South Park,> I said.

<What?>

<South Park. You watched it. So what happened?>

<Oh. Uh, well, it was a Butters episode, which I’m always pretty psyched about. Not as good as the Simpson’s episode.>

<What’s the Simpson’s episode?> Cassie asked.

<Let me tell you about Professor Chaos.>

Marco can be really annoying, but once he gets going he’s a pretty good story teller. I don’t know how much of what he said actually happened in the episode, because I can’t imagine that all fitting into one episode, but it felt a lot better to be listening to Marco incessantly talking than listening to my thoughts running around in my head. We came out at the bottom of the stairs before I could really think too hard about what we were running up to. Not that we could see the pool at all with our roach eyes.

<Okay, as entertaining as this retelling has been, we need to get back on track,> Tom said.

<Spoil sport,> Marco said, but he sounded tense.

<We’re checking out the buildings, just like we planned. Get around to one of them, duck inside, then see what we can find.>

<Uh,> I said, <I think we forgot something. I can’t see anything. How are we supposed to find the buildings again?>

<I have an idea.> Cassie. Cassie generally has the best ideas. Sometimes they make you nauseated to think about, but they are normally the best ideas. <Anyone else smell fries?>

<I thought taht was just me,> Marco said. <I seriously smell some greasy greasy burgers here.>

<Gotta be a cafeteria,> Tom said with a laugh. <The human Controllers have to eat, I guess. All right, roach patrol, let’s hunt some fries!> We were off. We found the building pretty easily and crawled through a crack. A roach only needs an opening as big as a quarter to get through.

Something to think about when you’re sitting in your room and forget to clean up.

We came out in a room. Now we weren’t just smelling fries and burgers. There was meatloaf and chicken and soda and about a thousand other food smells.

And humans. Lots of humans, lots of voices, and lots of vibrations.

And then something else.

<That is not a human smell,> Ax said.

<It’s familiar,> I said. <I don’t like it, but I can’t seem to remember…>

<Taxxon!> Cassie yelled. <That’s a TAxxon leg there!> I could see the spindly leg, and the dark shadow above. The roach couldn’t see it, but I knew the huge worm like body and hungry mouth.

<Oh, gross, I hate those things,> I said. Which would have been awful last words, by the way.

<LOOK OUT!> And then before even the roach legs could react, I was stuck. A red whip came out of nowhere, slapped me to the ground, and lifted me up again.

<I’m trapped!> Marco yelled.

<I am too!> Tom said. <Is anyone still on the floor? Get out of here, back into the crack!>

<What’s happening?> Cassie cried.

<It’s the Taxxon,> Ax said. <I think he’s about to consume us.>

I think we all were yelling for at least a minute until we realized we weren’t moving anymore. Not only that, nothing was moving. I had one antennae loose and there was not a single vibration out there.

<Um, okay, this is taking a really long time,> Marco said. <I seem to recall Taxxons being a bit more impatient…>

<I’m demorphing!> Cassie said. <I mean, not on purpose!> And I was too, I suddenly realized.

<Okay,> Tom said. He sounded shaky. <I’m demorphing too. But let’s not panic. Maybe - > And then his voice cut off. I guess his human mouth was coming in again. My hair came sprouting out of my head at that point, and I could see where we were.

I was on the ground, too heavy to be held up by the Taxxon tongue anymore. The others were growing around me. And we were in a lunchroom, as we’d guessed. But no one was moving. It was like a photograph, except I was in the photograph. And we were the only things moving.

“Okay, I am ready to wake up now,” Marco said. “This dream is getting really weird.”

It was still pretty scary. I mean, I could see Hork-Bajir at the door, and they’re terrifying. I’d never really had a chance to just look at one before. They’re pretty scary looking. They were around seven feet tall. I could see now that they had these long snakey necks, and a sharp beak like mouth. And I could see the blades more closely now. They reminded me of a stegosaurus, with all its plates. Only these plates were sharp, curved forward like a scythe. Like walking death, with scythes on his knees and elbows and wrists and shoulders and head and -

Okay, I was kind of staring at the Hork-Bajir for a while. I guess I must have walked up to it, actually. I don’t really remember that bit, but I do remember reaching out to try and touch one of those wrist blades.

“Rachel!” I turned to look at Tom. “Be careful. We don’t know what’s going on here.”

“Look.” Cassie had made her way to the large doorway. Outside, we could see the whole Yeerk pool. It was all frozen. The whole thing. The surface of the pool was still, but not calm. Small sludgy waves were just frozen in place. Hosts were frozen in their cages, screaming and crying and shouting. There was someone on the infestation pier. I could see the end of the Yeerk as it hung out of her ear.

There was movement and we all turned. It was weird, how quickly we picked up on it. One little movement in awhole sea of still. And it was just this kid. I didn’t recognize him at first.

“Tobias?” I asked. He blinked.

“What is going on?” He sounded jumpy and his voice was really high. He looked at his hands. “Did I fall asleep? I thought I was flying.” I ran towards him and he started yelling and flapping his arms.

“Ah! Ah! Oh.” Tobias went bright red and looked at his arms again. “Sorry. Sorry. Please tell me this is a dream. I want to wake up.”

“I hear two votes for waking up,” Marco said. “Two votes for waking up. Can I get a third?”

<Time has stopped,> Ax said. <For everyone but us. I can feel it.>

“Could it be the Yeerks?” Tom asked.

<This is far beyond Yeerk technology. It is beyond Andalite technology. Your earth is not turning.>

And this just. MASSIVE voice came out. It wasn’t just in my head. It was EVERYWHERE. It vibrated in the air and the Controllers and through my teeth.

**HUMILTY? FROM AN ANDALITE?**

“Yaahhh!” Marco screamed. Cassie had her arms over her head. I tried to look around for a source, something to fight or distract or, well, anything, but really, what could I possibly expect.

 **THERE IS NO THREAT, RACHEL**.

“It knows your name!” Tobias hissed. He was hunched, and I was reminded again of a bird ready to take off. I looked at Ax, and he was rigid. I looked closer and I swear he was shaking.

<Ellimist,> he said. He sounded both accusatory and very very very afraid. But to be frank, I was pretty afraid.

 **DO NOT BE AFRAID. I WILL TAKE A FORM YOU CAN UNDERSTAND**.

Then it was like… I mean, he came out of…

You know what? You know in movies, where they always pan away and back around to show someone appearing out of thin air? Because if they just POP! in it looks silly and cheap? Well that’s probably because when you do see it, it’s so… I mean, my eyes don’t WORK that way. It was all around me, but I only have eyes looking forward. Maybe it made more sense to Ax.

But yeah. He appeared out of nowhere and everywhere and it wasn’t just a sudden appearance. He just walked out of EVERYWHERE and stood before us.

I don’t know why he chose to look the way he did. He looked like an old man, but sort of electric blue all over. Like his skin was glowing, or like he had his own personal spotlight of magic BLUEness. And he did not look one bit frail.

“I am an Ellimist,” he said. He was using a normal voice but I was still pretty shaken to hear it.

“What’s an Ellimist?” Tom asked.

<A fairytale,> Ax said. <They are all-powerful. They can cross a million light years in an instant. They can make entire worlds disappear. They can stop time itself.>

“Okay, check on the last one,” I said. “Fairytales?” Marco said. “Is anyone else remembering how brutal our fairytales are? Can I go back to being eaten by a Taxxon, because I think that was less weird and creepy and… Well I knew what was happening and that’s generally a state I like to be in.”

“You may, of course.” The Ellimist smiled.

“Oh wait, no, no, I was joking,” Marco said very quickly. “I don’t want to be eaten either. Actually,” I could hear the wheels turning in Marco’s head. “ACTUALLY I do have a request. Undo the war. Just POOF send the Yeerks away and let me go back to my life. No, not my life, a better life. I want to live in Malibu.”

And that broke the tension. Cassie started laughing, and if I turned I could see Tom giving Marco ‘the look’. He gets this little frown and his eyebrows knit together and I’m fairly certain he’s wondering what he did to deserve listening to Marco. Sometimes I get the look when I stomp cars. You know. Recreational activist duties.

Well, Marco broke _our_ tension. Ax was still petrified.

<Don’t be fooled. He is a very dangerous creature!>

“Relax, Aximilli-Esgarrouth-Isthill. I have come with a choice, nothing more.”

“A choice?” I asked.

“We do not interfere in the private affairs of other beings,” the Ellimist said. “But when they are in danger of becoming extinct, we step in to save a few members. We love life. All life, but especially sentient life forms, like Homo sapiens. This is a very beautiful planet.”

And then it was like I was traveling through the earth. I was in the ocean, over a coral reef. We were all there, and there was life everywhere. Schools of fish, a shark, stingrays, crabs. And then the African savannah. I could see a pride of lions in the sun. I saw wildebeests bouncing in droves. And then the jungle. I could see a jaguar prowl smoothly along the ground. Monkeys and birds chittered over head. Ants carrying chunks of leaves paved a path a foot and half wide at my feet. And then New York City. I was a in the middle of Times Square. People were everywhere, taking pictures, laughing talking on phones. We were at a soccer match in Durban. A political meeting in Seoul. A rock concert in Rio de Janeiro. Then a museum, surrounded by vivid paintings. I’d seen that one before, a painting of purple flowers.

And then we were back. Just like, poof. The Ellimist made movies so boring.

“Humans are an endangered species. Soon you will disappear. The Yeerks are sentient as well, and technologically more advanced than you. The Andalites will try and stop them, but the Yeerks will continue to infest the humans. They will win, and the only humans left will be Human-Controllers.” I felt like I’d been punched in the gut. I mean, I knew we had a slim chance, but it was another thing all together to be told with such finality, such certainty, such authority, that we would lose.

“Why would you come here just to tell us we’re dead meat?” I asked. I felt my worst at that moment. I’m not used to feeling hopeless, but that was what he had presented us. Hopelessness.

“We have an offer,” the Ellimist said. “We can save a small sample of the human race. We have a planet, very like Earth. You, some members of your family, and a few others, chosen for a good genetic sampling. We will bring a few non-human Earth species of interest to us as well.”

Cassie laughed. “He’s an environmentalist,” she said. “We’re the spotted owls. We’re the rhinos. We’re the whales. And he’s coming in to try and save us.”

“Safe in a zoo, you mean,” Tobias said. The Ellimist only smiled.

“We do not impose our will on sentient species. You are the only free humans who are aware what is happening and what is at stake. And so it falls to you to decide.”

“You want us to decide for the entire human race? By when?” I was angry. I mean, I like choice, I like going where I want to go, but I also like time to figure out where Iw antto go as well.

“You must decide now,” the Ellimist said.

“What?” I yelled. Tom laid his hand on my shoulder

“Rachel, calm down.”

“How can you ask me to calm down, Tom! This is stupid. We can’t decide this all at once! Who is he to demand this!”

“What if we choose no?” Tobias asked. His face was blank. He must’ve forgotten how to show emotions.

“You will be returned, as you were. We do not interfere.”

“Oh, fair,” Marco said. “You wait until we’re Taxxon lunch? That’s cheating _._ ”

<Ellimists do not care about fair,> Ax said. <Ellimists give you a choice that is no choice at all. Then they pretend they do not interfere, that it is a human choice.>

“I vote no,” Tobias said.

“Wait,” Tom started to say, but everyone was talking at once. Cassie turned to Tobias.

“He’s talking about humanity being extinct, we need to think about this.”

“This is the stupidest thing that has ever occurred,” Marco said.

“Everyone quiet down!” Tom snapped. He had his hands to his head and he was rubbing the heels of his hands over his eyes. “We don’t get anywhere by bickering like this. Or at least no where productive. We need to lay out what’s on the line.”

“What I know is he’s using me,” Tobias said. “He’s using your affection for me to force this decision and I’m not falling for that. So no. I’m not making any other decision.” Tom stared him down, but nodded.

“Fine, you’ve made up your mind. You’re always stubborn, even if spite is a really stupid reason for choosing anything.” I’d like to think if Tobias had remembered how to show emotions, he would’ve looked apologetic.

“So that makes two against from the start,” Marco said. I didn’t even have to guess that he meant me. And my gut reaction was anger, like Marco thought he knew me. But I knew he was right, too. I couldn’t exactly run away from the fight, especially if Tobias was willing to stay, with everything to lose. So I just shrugged, like I was fine with that.

“He wants us to run away,” I said. “He wants us to abandon our people and our planet just to save a select few, and that’s not how it works. We’re fighting for everyone.”

And I remember this really clearly. It was just so bizarre. Because, see, Marco always looks at you with this smug expression. Like he knows what you’re thinking, or what you’re going to do. Like he’s ready to make a joke and can’t wait to see your reaction, whether you like it or not. Even when he’s angry it’s like ‘I knew you’d be stupid like that’. He thinks he’s in everyone’s head. Mind games. But he wasn’t looking at me like that then. His face was sort of blank, unreadable. And he’d already called my stance, so I don’t know what he was on about. But it was just one more weird thing to add onto the pile of weird and I couldn’t really take any more. So I made a face at him and he turned away. He started staring behind us, back at the cafeteria.

Man, I can’t stop thinking about how weird Marco acted on that. Why can’t I just shake that?

“Ax, you’ve been quiet,” Tom said.

<It is a decision for humans,> he said. <I will follow you, Prince Tom, in your decision. But I do not trust this Ellimist.>

“Guys, we might not even make it out of here alive,” Cassie said. “What if this is it? What if this is the last chance for us to survive? It’s better to get out with some people, than nothing, isn’t it?”

“Marco, surprisingly, you haven’t chimed in with your opinion on the decision yet.” Tom turned to Marco, then followed his gaze. He was looking past the cafeteria, up at this tall circular column rising straight up to the rock ceiling of the cavern. It was steel and clear glass, but I could see a Human Controller inside, frozen in mid-air. She looked like she was falling straight through the shaft.

“I’m going to vote no,” Marco said, very slowly. “Thanks for the offer, but I think spite is a perfectly good reason for making a decision, and I’m not a fan of being muscled about.”

“Guys,” Cassie pleaded, “think about this. Animals always fight when we try and take them in, keep them safe. They’re scared but we’re saving them. Aren’t we just the scared animals this time? Aren’t we just resisting someone who is really trying to help?”

“I’m sorry Cassie, but I’m leaning no on this,” Tom said slowly. He gave a nod to Marco. “I just don’t see how a coerced choice is really free. And why ask if he doesn’t already know the answer?” He turned to look at Cassie, but she shrugged.

“I’ll vote to stay if it comes to that,” she said. But I’m not sure she meant it, to be honest.

“Okay. Settled. The humans are spiteful and we stay.” Instantly we were back in our roach bodies.

**IF YOU LIVE I WILL ASK ONCE MORE. IF YOU LIVE.**

  


<Morph!> Marco screamed. We were back on the tongue, whipping through the air. I didn’t have time to even think of the Ellimist’s last message. I was de-morphing as fast as I could, but everything suddenly went black.

<Keep morphing!> Tom yelled. <Just focus on demorphing!> I was deposited in viscous, burning goo, but I was also growing. I could feel my body spread and grow and let me tell you, it got really crowded in there really fast.

<Air!> Marco cried out.

<Just keep morphing, the Taxxon will pop if we keep morphing!>

<I have my tail again,> Ax said. <Should I?>

<YES!> we all said. Suddenly it was bright and stinking foul fetid fantastic air came flying in. I was covered in green-blue Taxxon guts and slime, but I could breath and every second I was closer to being human.

<Keep demorphing and bail! Towards the back of the -> Marco said, but he cut off. I was close behind, but I didn’t wait to finish demorphing entirely. The room was still, but tense, and I knew we had an audience now.

“They’re Andalites!” I heard a voice yell. “Andalites morphing! Get them, get them!” I was moving, but let me tell you, there were far more Controllers trying to get away than rush us. The humans were throwing their chairs aside and rushing for the doors. I guess Human Controllers don’t think they’re a match for Andalite Warriors. But I knew there were Hork-Bajir already there.

Ax was there. He had his tail into the Hork-Bajir’s shoulder as we moved past. I moved towards the back of the building, seeing Marco gesture.

“There, that’s the shaft!” He led us back.

“Morph again, whatever you’ve got!” Tom said. “We’re fighting our way out again!” I don’t think I was fully human longer than a second. I already had the grizzly’s image in my head.

I know I should have tested the morph. It’s a really bad idea to try out a morph in the heat of battle. Really just bad to try it without time to get used to what you’ll get. The animal mind can be kind of overpowering. But I just wanted to feel that grizzly’s power.

I hit one of the humans as they were trying to leave. It knocked me back, and then there was a Hork-Bajir blocking my path. I could see the others ahead. They were at the shaft. I think Tom must’ve looked back at us, but then I really couldn’t see anything but shadows. Blurs. I knew there had been a Hork-Bajir ahead, at least one, but now I couldn’t see at all. I rolled, to get up off the floor, but I was down on my paws.

And then the brain kicked in. And it certainly wasn’t scared. There was a sharp pain in my shoulder and then there was only anger.

I roared.

I wish I could’ve seen the Hork-Bajir as I barreled through him. I smacked him and he disappeared. He wasn’t getting up again. I think. I really couldn’t see anything with those eyes.

And then I lost all control. The bear’s rage is just… I thought I was scared of what a grizzly would do if I ran into one in the wild, but it is WAY WORSE to be on the other side. Everything just goes so fast and you’re just striking. I lashed out at everything. I destroyed tables. I had my teeth into a Hork-Bajir. I tried to dig my claws into orange and black fur. I remember chasing the attacker, leaping after it into the air and flying up. But, like, it’s just this rush.

<Rachel, morph out! Rachel, listen to me. Hear my voice, Rachel. You HAVE to get over the bear mind. You are out of control!>

The voice registered, barely, but I couldn’t stop the bear from slashing. I could see the tiger, Tom, ahead. Above. I couldn’t stop the bear.

But I could demorph.

I thought of myself, and I soon got far enough that the bear mind melted away. The bear was gone, and then it was just me.

Exhausted, heavy, embarrassed me.

I came out onto cement. I didn’t even stand, I just fell forward and slumped to the ground.

“Where are we?” I heard Tom ask. He sounded really far away.

“Base of the water tower behind the school. We shouldn’t stay here too long, though. Cassie’s already on wing, keeping an eye out.”

<Rachel, are you okay?> Cassie’s voice was in my head. I tried to push myself up.

“Yeah, just tired. That bear… Sorry, I never morphed it before.”

“It’s okay,” Tom said. He was using his nice voice, now. Which was often a sign that I had done something really stupid that should have almost certainly killed me. “That bear got us all out. Scared the hell out of some Hork-Bajir.” I snorted a laugh as Tom drew me up. I pushed him away and walked unsteadily on my own.

“It’s fine. I’m fine.” I had to convince Tom to let me be, let me get home on my own. Or maybe I didn’t. I don’t know. I know I woke up in my bed. And then I skipped school for the first time in my entire life. I took a shower until the water ran cold, and then I sat in my bathrobe on the couch and watched TV. Real trash TV. Like, my daughter is a dating a man 30 years older than her daytime trash. Then I found this painting show, with happy little trees and I just kind of slumped there.

There was this harsh ringing and I swear, it took me twenty minutes to realize it was the phone. I wasn’t really thinking when I picked up the cordless.

“Hello?”

“Hey.” It was Tom. “Just trying to check in. You weren’t answering your cell.”

“Oh. Yeah, it must be upstairs.”

“You okay?”

“Of course! Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just… I overslept. So I… wait. How did you know I was at home.”

“Concerned text from Cassie. She didn’t get an answer on your cell. Apparently she doesn’t have your home number.”

“Oh. Well, yeah. I guess I’ll go find that and tell her I’m fine.”

“I can let her know. Tobias wanted to come talk to you, though.”

“Oh? Wait. How do you know _that_?”

“I have my ways,” Tom said. He sounded almost happy. I still don’t know how he talked with Tobias then. “So, do you mind if he comes by your house? If your family is home…”

“No, no, Mom will be working late tonight. Some case. And Jordan and Sara are at school. Wait, aren’t you at school?”

“Free period. It is the best thing about high school. You really will be psyched about free period, or as we call it here, nap time.”

“Right, high school.”

“Exactly, high school. You’re gonna get here, and be a whiny little freshman, and act like a moron with all your other friends. And I will look down on you from my exalted position on high, like royalty before the peons.” Tom made it sound so matter of fact, that I couldn’t help it. I started giggling.

“Just leave a place for your favorite peon, Ax.”

“Oh, I don’t pick favorites,” Tom said. “I’m everyone’s favorite. That’s how royalty works you know.”

I joked about with Tom for a while. And then Tobias came by. We talked about the Ellimist. Apparently being human again had weirded him out. Which just seemed really strange to me. Well, still strange. I think Tobias might actually prefer being a bird now. Well, then. Always. Which seems crazy but he was pretty adamant about how good it felt to have his wings back. Maybe he was trying to make us feel better about it. And Tobias brought up what the Ellimist had left us with.

<He said if you live,> Tobias said. < _If_. Like he didn’t know. So how can he know we’ll lose if he didn’t even know whether you’d all die or not? >

“I guess.” I’m not really one for mind games. Tobias was right that he’d set us up, but I hadn’t worked that out. And I didn’t really see how one word made all the difference. Ax had said these things were all powerful, and I just kind of believed it. Just like I had taken Tom’s remark about Tobias wanting to come speak to me at face value.

Those fishy coincidences.

<Tom wasn’t able to give me any details, but it sounds like you wouldn’t have gotten out without Marco’s quick thinking.>

“Tom sent you here to check up on me, didn’t he?” I have no way to explain to you how a red-tailed hawk can look sheepish, but I swear Tobias pulled it off. He’s better at showing his emotions as a bird now.

<He didn’t _send_ me, > Tobias said, carefully.

“Now I’m being babied,” I spat out at him.

<Actually, I’m supposed to be figuring out how you got a grizzly morph that no one knows about, but I was hoping to be more stealthy about this. Also, I got distracted.>

“This is about me morphing a grizzly bear?! I thought that saved everyone!”

<I can’t really say anything about that, but getting dangerous morphs on your own is a pretty big risk. What if the grizzly had turned on you? What then?>

“Then I’d be dead, and we’d be one step closer to losing this war!” I couldn’t sit still, so I started pacing. “You heard the Ellimist. We’re doomed, the Yeerks win. So who cares about any of this? Who cares if I get morphs on my own, or skip school, or leave town, or do anything!” Tobias just stared me down. You can imagine he has THAT look down.

<Leave town?>

“I’m not leaving town,” I said. “I just… My dad asked and I haven’t told him yet that I’m not going, ‘cause it will break his heart. But yeah, you know me. I’m here for the long fight.” I sat and we were just silent for a bit.

<There was one other thing,> Tobias said. <Tom wanted to have a meeting. We thought we’d meet at Cassie’s barn. To go over this Ellimist situation.> I nodded.

“Yeah, that’s probably the right,” I said. I asked Tobias to leave me on my own for a while. I actually went flying. Tobias was right about one thing, flying really _was_ amazing. I guess I could see how he wouldn’t want to give that part up.

I flew into the barn and landed on a bale of hay before demorphing. Everyone was already there.

“What, and now even the bus is too much for you?” Marco shot at me. I didn’t even have a mouth and he had to dig in.

<What? Wings are faster anyway.>

“Right, and no one’s going to wonder why a bald eagle is flying out of a suburban window. But hey, that’s peanuts next to throwing a GRIZZLY BEAR into a room with no warning!” I was stuck between bird and human, unable to speak when Tom cut in.

“That’s my fault,” he said. “Rachel came to me before you told us about the GAP. She wanted something less bulky than the elephant and I agreed. It completely escaped my head, and I’m sorry for that lapse in judgement. I had wanted to bring it up, though, because we should make sure we all have morphs we can work with.”

I finished demorphing and just stared at Tom. I didn’t know why he was lying for me. I looked up at Tobias in the rafters. He knew the grizzly hadn’t been planned.

“That’s still really dangerous!” Cassie said. “You guys shouldn’t go into the Gardens without me there. I at least have some idea how some of these animals will react.” Tom nodded.

“You’re right. I didn’t even think of that. So next time we’ll make sure to get you before we do this.” That kind of killed the conversation. Marco still looked pissed, but he seemed less anxious to dig into Tom. Cassie was giving me a sympathetic look. I realized I never had answered her texts.

“So. The Ellimist,” Tom said. It was so awkward, Marco started to laugh.

“Right. That guy. I almost forgot about our appointment with the zoo man. Do you think we’ll get treats? We should ask about that.”

<For what? I thought we weren’t going to accept.> Marco shrugged up at the rafters.

“Yeah, well, we were in a bad situation, things were fishy. Spite’s fun in the spur of the moment but it eats you up. In the light of day, clawing out of my hour of nightmare-plagued sleep, to only do my rendition of Walking Dead through the halls, yeah, I’ve changed my mind. I’m thinking this is stupid and we should get out while we have some semblance of sanity left.”

“I don’t like the idea of walking out,” Tom said. “I keep thinking of all the people we would walk out on. I don’t know if I can do that.”

“We get to take people with us!” Marco said. “I have my list. And if the Ellimist says they’re going then yeah, vote in.”

“Tom, look around you,” Cassie said. “Every animal in these cages. They fight me and my dad. I have a scar from a raccoon bite on my wrist. And we have to force them because we want to help. The Ellimist just wants to do the same thing.”

“At the expense of what?” Tom said. “I know we put tigers and rhinos in zoos to save them, but I’m still not really sure they’re happy in those cages.”

“They’re not happy getting poached either,” I said. That drew everyone’s attention.

“Woah, wait, do we have another vote on team sanity?” Marco asked. “What got you singing a new tune?”

“Shut up,” I said. “Look, I don’t know. I don’t want to run away from this fight. But then I think. I mean, he said we’re dead meat, right? Game over, and I just think, look, it’s this big giant exit, and I can take my mom and my sisters and my dad…” I really hate those silences when you know everyone is too scared to tell you something. That’s what I had there. I was talking and each person was looking at me like they had something to say, but none of them could just come forward and say it. And I was just scared looking at all these choices and no clue about which way to go.

 **I WILL SHOW YOU WHAT YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND**.

And then we were gone. I mean, the barn was gone. We weren’t in the barn. Man, I really should not be telling stories. I don’t even know which was is up anymore. Ugh, I just looked down at the doc information and apparently I’ve clocked in 9000 words on this. What have I even been writing? You must hate reading this. Anyway, the Ellimist deposited us in this big empty field. Everything was desolate, like those apocalyptic movies where nothing’s moving and all the buildings look caved in.

Oh, and human Tobias was there again. And Ax too. He looked the most surprised, but I guess he’d been, like, galloping or whatever he does. What’s an Andalite hobby anyway?

I don’t remember who figured it out first, but it turned out the caved in old building was our school. I’ve never been a whole ‘blow up the school’ kid, and it was even worse just to see it there.

“How did this happen? I was only gone one day!” I said.

“I don’t think it’s been a day,” Cassie said. “I think we need to think future tense.”

“I’ve got tense for you,” Marco said.

And it was really weird. I mean, yeah, dilapidated buildings, dead field, but also the air was just… it stank. It was so musty, like decaying roadkill. And the sky was more, yellow, muddy color. Not pretty sunset yellow. Not really pretty at all, actually.

<Time has been distorted,> Ax said. <I believe the Ellimist has tampered with time. But I do not know how.>

“So this is the future,” Cassie said. Which is pretty trip. I mean, the future? How could we be in the future? Except, you know, we turned into animals and fought aliens, so maybe this doesn’t seem weird to you. But yeah, time travel is still messed up, even on our scale of things.

So we wandered. The future the Ellimist showed us was so messed up. We looked into the school which was a mistake. I saw this body over the teacher’s desk, but it was just a skeleton. It’d been left there just to rot. Left on the desk in the school, all that time. And it wasn’t the only skeleton we saw. There were no cars on the highway. Bright noon and no cars. That’s unheard of.

Wait, we did see a car. It was a rusted wreck with another skeleton in it.

And the mall was crawling with Taxxons. I mean, literally. Ax told us about how they’re hive creatures, which is just extra ugh! on the Taxxon scale. Hive animals are a horrible plan. Ants, termites, Taxxons - just stay clear. Worst morphs ever.

Anyway, we found their train system. It’s like that futurama thing, except instead of one person, it’s like, this whole platform running along. Ax just did his human morph and we were sitting there. It was so weird. I mean, we’re sitting there, looking out the window, but everything is zipping by. We did in a minute and a half what takes 30-40 minutes by bus.

Not in traffic.

But all the other human-Controllers on there were just bored. Like any old bus or subway, I guess. Just trying to get where you’re going. We got off at downtown, just to walk around. About half the buildings were just gone. Razed over. Others were Taxxon hives. I wondered how many hives they needed, anyway. The arena and just tons of buildings had been converted to a huge Yeerk - well, lake, not pool. I could’ve taken a motorboat out on that thing. Maybe ground up some Yeerks in the motor. But the tallest building, the EGS Tower, that was there. The top two floors were gone with a big glass dome over it, but otherwise it looked pristine. It was the only untouched building.

And I finally connected the dots right, and saw my own little coincidence. Take that, Marco and figuring out the dropshaft. Or Tobias and his whole “if” theory. Rachel’s playing the mind guessing game too now. HAH!

I mean, I didn’t connect it at the time. We were too busy staring at that Yeerk pool. Lake. It was just so… busy. It was busy. And none of the hosts were even yelling anymore. It made me exhausted. There was some trippy stuff. I guess I should tell you that.

So, okay, there was this Bug Fighter landing when we were walking out towards the pool. I mean, I don’t know, we just weren’t sure what we were supposed to be seeing, and the Bug Fighter seemed like a good candidate. So we went up, except when it opens, it was, like, me.

Obviously not ME. But an older me, like early twenties, with this short cropped hair. Really plain clothes, no make up. She came out with Visser Three and just stared us down, like she knew we were coming.

But it was weird. They kept talking, but it was like things weren’t adding up. Like the Visser talked about us six humans? But Ax isn’t human obviously. Or Yeerk-me kept saying, like, ‘we’re here to make you make the right choice’, but I’d have to make the choice to stay for her to exist, right? But it was like, seeing her, well my first thought was to take the Ellimist’s offer. That seemed like the point he was trying to make. Not that I was thinking this through at the time. I was just really ticked off, and then someone had the clever idea that they couldn’t hurt us, because if past us died than it would mess up their future and they didn’t know what that would do.

Basically I tried to grizzly attack the Visser. I did barrel into him. But the Ellimist pulled us back before I could dig my claws in. So instead of clobbering the head off of a seriously sick freak, I just bruised my hand on a tree.

“Ow! Ugh I’m sick of this!”I shook my hand but the pain was just getting worse. “I’m sick of this and the fighting and the choosing and I’m just sick of everything!” I kind of just sat on the pine needles, curled up on myself and cried. Just like, furious tears. And I just kind of gave up. I was going to vote yes, to go, and it felt really good, I was relieved to think I wouldn’t have to make any more hard choices. And I said as much. I mean, I guess I freaked them out, because I don’t normally cry. But yeah, it turns out I do.

“So that’s it. Three votes to go,” Marco said.

<Maybe…> Tobias said. <Maybe, if we survive, maybe we can come back. Like when the wolves get put back into the wild.>

“I don’t know…” Tom kept shaking his head. Then his head popped up. “Marco, you said you have a list?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I have a list. Me and my dad, you know. Family and friends I think are worth saving.”

“Yeah. Okay. Well, then I’ve got a list with some conditions too.” It was weird, because I’m used to seeing Tom look tired, or worried, or just at a loss. But he actually looked ready to fight then. Like, really pumped.

“Tobias, you’re changing your vote?” Tom asked.

<You know I don’t want to run from this fight, but…>

“I know. Alright, Ellimist. You’re getting your vote. We’ll let you have your zoo. You’re going to take the people who we care about, those close to us and… whichever you wanted to take for genetic sampling. But I’m not on my list, okay?”

“What are you talking about?” I asked Tom. He just shrugged.

“Ellimist wants a zoo. He wants to protect some part of humanity, and okay. I don’t want to sit here, worry about my family on top of this war. And he wants us to choose, fine, we’re the ones who know, we choose. But I don’t need to be in that zoo, right? He can have his reserve, and I’ll just… you know. Fight.”

“You cannot possible mean you’ll fight alone,” Marco said. “That’s insane. I mean, we’re all already insane, but what you are talking about is just… stupid!” But Tom was already standing, yelling about.

“Ellimist! I know you’re listening! We’ve made our choice so come on, let’s get going on this!” But nothing happened. At some point - it took a while - Tom even caved and said he’d go along with the way the Ellimist wanted it, but nothing happened. The Ellimist didn’t do squat.

I probably should’ve started this whole thing with telling you the Ellimist is a big liar. This might’ve made more sense.

We all stewed for a few days. Just wondering when the Ellimist would get on with it. We all knew something was odd. I talked with Cassie, and the nearest we could figure then was that, the Ellimist had never wanted us to say yes. He’d just been trying to show us things, ways out or stuff, that we couldn’t see from where we were. Like how Marco saw that dropshaft. Or how I saw the EGS Tower.

Oh, yeah, you forgot about that, did you? Not me. See, that tower is the key. Because they didn’t tear it down in that future. Put a big pretty dome over it, than razed all these buildings just to put a giant Yeerk pool next to it. Because that’s where they had been storing the Kandrona.

Marco seems to think the Ellimist was caught. Like, he’s actually NOT allowed to interfere, but he got the option to take some of us? But he doesn’t want to save sOME he wants to save ALL of earth, so instead of, just, like, telling us what to do, he just waits until we’re in the place that we have to be to see the thing we need to not die. Or something. Like he was cheating, by showing us things we couldn’t know, so we could win, even though h couldn’t help us.

It really confuses me, okay? I still can’t wrap my head around this whole nightmare. All I know is I saw the tower and Marco didn’t so he may be clever mind game weasel loophole kid, but I still get in a few punches. Or whatever it is with mind games.

So we crashed the tower at around, 5 in the morning. I mean, well, no actually, I guess we did literally crash it. I mean, the doors were locked, and they’re really not bear proof.

We just smashed through the entire front wall, really, because it was that glass stuff all those downtown buildings have. The guard was a Controller, but it didn’t take much to knock him out. We piled into the freight elevator - seriously, imagine that. A bear, a tiger, and a gorilla, piled into a freight elevator. With elevator music. Muzak? What’s that dumb way it’s spelled. Ax and Cassie - a wolf then, I think, she likes that one - took the second lift.

Of course, that meant more inane waiting. With Marco yakking.

The elevator opened on two Hork Bajir and three humans, all very very surprised. So much for waiting, on to ‘guts on the floor’. We took out the two pretty fast. The humans ran off as the cavalry arrived. I went barreling after the humans, and ran right into eight Hork-Bajir.

I mean, not that I could _see_ them. But I get the feeling my element of surprise might have helped us survive. I mean, I don’t know. It was like a meat grinder. A big, disgusting, alien animal meat grinder, with severed limbs and near fatal bleeding and lots and lots of screaming. I mean, I don’t think you want to know that part. _I_ don’t want to know that part in detail. I used to think I did, but it’s not like stories and. Well yeah. I’m not going to give you a play by play. But none of us died, so. I lost an arm, though. It’s weird, because it didn’t feel like it was gone at all, but there was this blurry red stump instead of a shadowy limb. And then the morphing is always tiring.

Anyway, we found the Kandrona. It was the size of a small human car. Like this silver shiny cylindar tapered to points at the ends. And it was humming, and the room was so warm. Like, kind of nice warm, actually. Not that I liked the Kandrona. I mean, I liked dropping it sixty stories. Did you know an elephant can stand on the 58th floor of a skyscraper? Doesn’t evencrack the floor. Or maybe it did I don’t know. But good craftsmenship there.

We flew out of there. Apparently they had another Kandrona already on the way, but they had to go three weeks without any source on earth. Actually, that was not as pleasant to see as I thought. There were people just flipping out. One of our teachers did. Just started convulsing and screaming. We left, and then… well, it turns out the Yeerks don’t want to leave hosts to tell, which made us all kind of second guess whether we’d really done what we’d wanted to do. I mean, we want to save the hosts, but those damn YEerks, they just have to make everything awful, right? Can’t just let the Yeerk die and the human go. I hate them so much.

But yeah. I mean, that’s what I wanted to tell you. Except I keep thinking about that stuff with my dad. I don’t hate my dad. I mean, he didn’t know, and he really just wanted to have a chance to see more of me. The gymnastics would have been awesome. But, like, it’s hard to just up and move, right? We all have things we’re doing. We’re invested in the stuff right here. So I told him I wouldn’t be going, and I helped him pack up. And when I came back home I just went up to my room and turned on a sappy movie and lay there. I just felt really… numb.I don’t know how long it was until Tom was knocking at my door. Checking up on me again.

“Yeah?” I asked.

“Can I come in?” I hadn’t expected him, but I guess I should have. I let him in.

“What are you doing here?”

“Aunt Naomi let me in. I told her some jerk had been hassling you,” he said, cutting off my objection. “I told her there was this freshman at my school who was bugging you. Told her I asserted my cousinly pride and terrified the moron. Seemed to calm her down. She’s been worried. Apparently you’ve been a little… distant I think she said.”

“Well, I guess that’s as good an excuse as any.” He shut the door and I just snapped.

“Why would you let me do that?” I said. “Why would you tell me to take that chance? I didn’t _know_ that was the Kandrona up there. I was just guessing, trying to figure out what that stupid Ellimist thing was getting at, if he was! And you just nod and say, ‘alright, Rachel has this down, follow her in!’” That’s the thing about Tom. Yeah, he’s leader, but he also just looks at a situation and if you think you have an idea, he’ll just trust you that you have it covered and let’s you lead the way in. I mean, I don’t think Marco would’ve planned to just charge through the front door. But I said I knew where it was, and gave my reason, and Tom just nodded and said ‘Rachel’s game, all in’. Like he just trusts you, and then backs you up, and sometimes I really worry he shouldn’t.

And then Tom was just hugging me and I lost it. He’s kind of a big guy. I mean, not that he’s taller than me, but he’s been playing sports forever, so he has, like these big arms. I’m not really big on hugging, and we never really hugged ever, but at that point it was alright. And then I just felt bad and started crying. I don’t even know what I was crying at then, I was just crying.

“Why’d you lie for me?” I finally asked, after I’d calmed down. Tom just shrugged at me.

“Because I’ve got your back. You’d do the same for Jordan.”

“I’m not your little sister,” I told him.

“Well, you forgot to have a big brother, so I’m on loan for a bit.”

And then after a bit, he said, “Rachel, I know you’re not always sure. I’m not always sure, or ever really sure, but you do know that, whatever the choice, we’re going to do this together, right?”

“So then we’ll all just die together?” He laughed.

“Well, it woudl’ve been lonely to fight all on my own, so yeah. We’ll all end it together. Okay?”

“Yeah. Okay.”

  


—Rachel


End file.
